


unrequited

by bisque_doll



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, It's something, M/M, One Shot, demi!oikawa, i mean i guess there's a little fluff at the end?, not that fluffy as a story but, tsundereish iwaizumi?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 06:24:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6144433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisque_doll/pseuds/bisque_doll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you asked Oikawa if his friendship with Iwaizumi would persist after Seijou despite going to different colleges, he would reply that he is, unfortunately, stuck with Iwa-chan.</p><p>Oikawa thinks that being with Iwaizumi after this long is basically a given, but with unanswered texts, short conversations and ignored meetups, he gets a little suspicious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	unrequited

**Author's Note:**

> so i can write 15 pages in two days but it takes six months for me to write 5. ok.  
> anyway, a little oneshot i devised for y'all  
> plus i felt like it  
> idk what formatting is  
> idk what writing is  
> pls help  
> feel free to comment too. love those.

 

[You: iwa-channnnnnnnnnnn~!]

Read Tuesday, 4:47 PM

 

* * *

The first text Oikawa sends is something he sends almost daily. Whether it’s seven in the morning or one in the morning, he always gets a reply from Iwaizumi within ten minutes or so.

The only exceptions are when a.) Oikawa is trying to get him into trouble by texting him in class, or b.) Iwaizumi is genuinely busy or in a state where he can’t fish his phone out of his pocket to roll his eyes and sigh while he answers.

But even in the situation of b.), Iwaizumi almost always finds time to send a terse, ‘busy, ttyl’ or something along that line.

And it has _never_ said ‘read’ without a reply.

Never.

Oikawa formulates excuses in his mind for Iwaizumi. Maybe he’s... in some sort of judo class, and his sensei is scolding him for checking his phone.

Except Oikawa knows that Iwaizumi has never taken a fighting class in his life, and that he had always naturally had violent instincts that Oikawa was _probably_ to blame for.

But Oikawa figures that it’s probably a very important reason if Iwa-chan is ignoring even _him_. He imitates his usual cocky façade in his head.

He doesn’t want to excessively annoy Iwaizumi with texting him until he replies. It’s not like Oikawa cares if he’s annoying Iwaizumi, but if he’s really doing something important, then it’s for the best. Iwaizumi had never ignored a text before, anyway.

It’s the only time he’ll ever ignore it. Oikawa can at least grant him _one time_ before getting mad at him. He isn’t that savage.

A small part of his brain, located in the crevices of one of his synapses whisper his other true thoughts.

 _No,_ they say, under Oikawa’s clouds of reassurance, _it’s just the first._

 

* * *

 

[You: whatchu doin?]  
Read Tuesday, 11:30 PM.

 

* * *

 

It’s not uncommon for Oikawa to message Iwaizumi late at night. It’s not uncommon for Iwaizumi to reply late at night, either. As long as they’re both awake.

So whatever Iwaizumi had to tumble through at 4:47 PM was surely finished by now.

Oikawa waits ten minutes playing Flappy Bird, trying to beat the 236 record that Iwaizumi had set on his phone. Each time he dies, he checks his messages to see if there’s a reply. He even reaches 204 and flaps straight into a pipe just so he can see Iwaizumi’s reply.

Yeah. Sometimes his phone doesn’t ding and send him the little banner telling him who messaged him.

It happens.

But even after checking it, there’s no reply. The only difference is that in gray, faded lettering under the text box is ‘Read at 11:30 PM.’

This is when Oikawa gets suspicious.

Maybe… maybe…

Iwaizumi’s phone was stolen. That must’ve been the case, because it had never happened before. Silly Oikawa, thinking that Iwaizumi was ignoring him after all this time.

Just to make sure, he calls Iwaizumi. It rings once before someone picks up—the usual time it’d take Iwaizumi to pick up.

“Hey, Iwa-chaan. What’re you up to so late at night? Shouldn’t you be getting _beauty sleep?_ I mean, maybe it’ll help your face at least a smidgen.” Oikawa taunts. He actually expects Iwaizumi to cut him off and retort so they continue their usual banter.

He doesn’t.

“Wh…” There’s a pause, and a quiet but rough sigh from Iwaizumi breaks Oikawa’s expectations “Sorry, Oikawa. I’m busy right now.”

“Whaat? What could you _possibly_ be doing at almost midnight that doesn’t involve me?” Oikawa asks, a smirk playing on his face as he tries to recover. His grin suddenly falls. “That… didn’t come out right. What I meant was: what could be more important than me? Don’t tell me you _actually_ got a girlfriend or something, and she’s like, ‘don’t hang out with that Oikawa boy anymore!’”

“No,” Iwaizumi manages to grunt out, and Oikawa can hear the tinge of anger in his voice, but must be mistaken since Iwaizumi sounds fairly normal after. “I’m just busy.”

“Doing what?” Oikawa asks, continuing the conversation.

“None of your business,” Iwaizumi snaps, but he doesn’t sound mad at Oikawa. Or maybe he did. It doesn’t sound like his usual, funny way at least. It’s different. “I have to go now. See you.”

The call ends. Not because they’re too tired to talk at four AM, or because they have volleyball practice. They’ve both graduated from that. Literally.

Even if it was for that reason, Iwaizumi has never sounded like _that_ towards Oikawa.

He lies his head down on his pillow and re-reads texts, maybe trying to find where he went wrong.

 

* * *

 

[You: it’s been like 2 days. r u ok?]  
Read Saturday, 5:27 PM.

 

* * *

 

Back to this again. Oikawa won’t admit it, but it kind of ticks him off.

Iwaizumi isn’t replying to him, regardless of the form of social media he sends it on. He tries snapchatting ugly selfies to Iwaizumi with some sort of teasing caption, or putting a bunch of glittery pink filters over a candid picture he had taken during volleyball season.

No reply.

He tries posting super old middle-school selfies with him, Iwaizumi and Kageyama on Instagram (#tbt).

Iwaizumi doesn’t even heart it.

He’s even tried posting ‘Iwa-chan is ignorrrrinnnng meeeeeeeee guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyys ( ≧Д≦) ( ≧Д≦) ( ≧Д≦) ( ≧Д≦) ( ≧Д≦)’ and despite the many reassuring texts and likes, Iwaizumi doesn’t reply to a single comment.

Oikawa is almost certain that Iwaizumi is doing it on purpose.

 

* * *

 

[You: iwa-chan]

[You: is this even you?]  
Read Sunday, 3:49 PM

 

* * *

 

Oikawa thinks/puts himself under the illusion that _this_ time, Iwaizumi had _really_ lost his phone. Because although Oikawa might be able to understand one or two days, five is way too unreasonable.

He can’t even remember what he did when he wasn’t with Iwaizumi. In the days of his youth, he remembers dust clinging onto the television screen as he watched cartoons and television shows, but thinking a bit further from that, he’d remember Iwaizumi knocking on his door and asking him if he wanted to come outside and look at something cool with him.

 Sure, he had _friends._ Tons of them. Though they stayed unaware of the side that people found less fanciful, they were still considered friends. Oikawa could hang out with them if he was bored enough, and Oikawa’d laugh, and they would have a good time overall.

But it wasn’t as comfortable as hanging out with Iwaizumi. He couldn’t just endlessly tease them. Or, rather—he could, but they’d immediately shoot him weird glances. Unlike Iwaizumi, they wouldn’t voice their complaints; they would whisper to each other behind the scenes, or get the wrong messages from his playful games.

With Iwaizumi, he could… do what he wanted. It’s always been that way, and Oikawa expects that once this ‘phase’ is over, it’ll always _be_ that way.

_But it’s not a phase. Maybe he genuinely doesn’t want to see you anymore._

Oikawa didn’t think Iwaizumi would abandon him at the slightest opportunity.

It isn’t like Oikawa hasn’t left Iwaizumi hanging before, either. He’s ditched Iwaizumi to hang with different groups for projects, to socialize when coming to a new place, or even if he had made more important arrangements.

But now that it wasn’t mandatory for Iwaizumi to see him, now that they were going to different colleges, Iwaizumi had abandoned him within the first _month_.

Oikawa sighs, and forces himself outside. No, this is ridiculous. He pulls his blazer over his shoulders and straightens it out as he heads towards the Iwaizumi household.

He knocks on the wooden door and tucks his hands in his pockets. Like always, he wanted to look as casual, mature, and innocent as possible even though Iwaizumi’s parents know from the _many_ years they’ve been together that Oikawa couldn’t have been more unlike his intentions.

“Oh, Tooru!” Iwaizumi’s mother opens the door. Her face is easily identifiable from the years that Oikawa’s known her, even if her face is now riddled with wrinkles and her back isn’t the same as when he met her. It’s still her. “It’s been so long since you’ve last visited; what’s the occasion?”

Oikawa doesn’t think of it as _that_ long, considering he’d been with Iwaizumi basically every day, but it’s usually been Iwaizumi dropping by his house, and not the other way around. It had been at least two months since he’d seen Iwaizumi’s mother.

“Huh? Oh, I was just…” Here to find out if Iwaizumi’s okay. Here to ask why he’s ignoring me. Here for him. “…wondering if Iwa-ch… Iwaizumi was here.”

His mother’s smile changes for a second. It’s a flash of recognition that Oikawa notices from the many years he’s been with her. The same kind she had always expressed when they were kids and asked if babies came from the stork or God. She knows the answer, but chooses to conceal it.

Unfortunately, Oikawa knows there’s always been a valid reason for it.

“I’m sorry, Hajime’s out right now.” She replies. Oikawa knows she’s lying, but doesn’t say anything regarding his knowledge.

“Ah, really? That’s a shame!” He grins. In the same way that Oikawa can tell when she is lying, Iwaizumi’s mother can see through his transparent façade.

“Well, I’d better go now!” Oikawa says, looking away. He doesn’t want to see her analytical stare narrow him down, as accurate as ever.

“…It was nice seeing you, Tooru. You should come by again.” His mother says, and just as Oikawa is about to leave, he turns back towards her before she can shut the door, and rubs the back of his neck.

“Uh, I… don’t know if this is insensitive or anything, but… did anything… happen to Iwaizumi?” Oikawa asks. His lips are in a tight line, and he can’t meet her stare.

He doesn’t look, so he can’t see her fond smile and quiet chuckle. “No, nothing.”

“Oh.” He mutters. He’s not exactly sure how to respond now, and attempts to clear the situation by leaving. “I have to go now. Nice talking to you again! I’ll come by again soon!”

“I’ll be looking forward to it.” Iwaizumi’s mother calls out before closing the door.

Oikawa doesn’t know the meaning behind her smile.

 

* * *

 

[You: iwa-chan]

[You: are you okay]

[You: i tried visiting your house but you weren’t there]

[You: your mom said nothing was wrong]

[You: the karasuno/seijou match is wednesday, u still up for watching our beautiful kouhai???]

[You: the game starts at 5 so u gotta be there by like 6 to see the wonderful me~ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ]  
Read Monday, 11:28 PM.

 

* * *

 

The text Oikawa sends is fucking useless, because there’s no sight of Iwaizumi all game.

He knows that at this point, Iwaizumi would contact him if anything had gone wrong with his phone. Oikawa knows that Iwaizumi is intentionally ignoring him, but that’s not what bothers him. What bothers Oikawa is _why_ Iwaizumi’s ignoring him, because he doesn’t know. He doesn’t fucking know why Iwaizumi is ignoring him.

To add to his irascible behaviour, Seijou lost the game Oikawa had patiently waited all day for Iwaizumi to come to. He stares at the match, resting his face on his palm while resting the other on the railing of the stands, impatiently watching the sloppy plays.

While others would argue that Karasuno put in a great ‘team effort’, Oikawa fixated on how Seijou had lost because of _Kageyama. If Kageyama weren’t there, and if Iwa-chan and I—_

Oikawa’s a little surprised to see how fast thoughts of Iwaizumi cross his mind, which knocks him out of his tunnel-vision concerning Kageyama quickly.

He looks at the gymnasium doors at least once every three minutes, hoping Iwaizumi will open it. He knows Iwaizumi will stand in the doorway until the play is finished, and he’ll either grin or shout at the team like usual. The team will be glad to see him there, regardless of which one. He’ll then join Oikawa in the stands and ask him for his opinion on what’s happened so far, and Oikawa will complain about Tobio-chan and shrimpy’s synergy and…

The whistle blows as Karasuno wins. He sees the team with familiar, pained expressions on their faces as they grit their teeth and clench their fists. He wants to yell at them, saying they did a good job or something motivating like that, but that’s never been his thing.

It’s Iwaizumi’s. Always has been, always will be.

On the court, Hinata notices Kageyama keeps stealing glances in Oikawa’s direction. Trying to match up their line of vision, Hinata asks, “Are you looking at the Grand King?” Once he’s directly above Kageyama.

Kageyama jolts, and glares at Hinata.

“What’s up?” Hinata asks.

Kageyama looks back at Oikawa for a second before turning back to Hinata. “It’s nothing, really. It’s just that I think Oikawa-san only makes that kind of expression when he’s troubled about something.”

Kageyama recalls the time Oikawa had almost punched him, but was inevitably stopped by Iwaizumi.

He wonders where Iwaizumi is.

Oikawa ultimately sees his team naturally perk up, accepting defeat and shaking Karasuno’s hand, as though he _had_ shouted motivating words. He supposed Seijou’s actions were imprinted on by Iwaizumi.

Once everyone’s done clean-up, Oikawa walks down from the stands and greets his former team with his usual smile and his middle and index fingers forming a small ‘V’.

“Wo~ow. You guys really did improve, you know.” Oikawa says, trying to compliment them.

They look away from him, thinking something along the lines of, ‘ _sure, but we lost’._ A feeling he recognizes. They also think that he’s mocking their loss, believing his words to be sarcasm. A taunt, saying, ‘you’d better win next time’.

“Well, if Iwa-chan were here, I’m sure he’d tell you that you guys did a good job, you know.” Oikawa says. He’s about to list off their weaknesses and sloppy mistakes when he realizes that will just _lower_ team morale.

Kindaichi speaks up, asking the question Oikawa dreaded to hear. “Where _is_ Iwaizumi-senp—er, Iwaizumi-san.”

Before Oikawa can even answer, Shigero, the new setter, interrupts. “Well, according to all of Oikawa-senpai’s social media, Iwaizumi’s ignoring him.”

Oikawa comments on the more lighthearted part of that sentence. “You don’t need to call me _senpai_ anymore! I’m a college student now, you know.”

“What’d you do to Iwaizumi, anyway?” Kunimi asks.

Everyone sees the small break in Oikawa’s usual mask. It isn’t his typical childish pouting, jokes, intimidating passive-aggressive complaints, or even his slightly scary anger that lets the team know that something’s honestly bothering him.

It’s not the first time they’ve caught him off-guard, but it’s the first time he reacts in such a meek way. He averts his eyes from the team for a second, with his smile cracking ever-so-slightly at the edges. He purses his lips into a thin line and licks his lips before bringing back a smile.

He realizes the smile isn’t appropriate for the situation, and bring out his smug façade. “Well, I don’t know what would give Iwa-chan a _single_ reason to avoid me.”

Oikawa lies. He’s been naming hundreds of reasons why over the past three days alone.

The team seems to forget the break in Oikawa’s mien, and they stare disapprovingly at the former setter, since even they can name a thousand reasons why Iwaizumi would avoid Oikawa. They didn’t even know why Iwaizumi _stuck_ with Oikawa.

“Still,” Kindaichi says, “It’s not something I think Iwaizumi-san would do without a reason.”

“Yeah, I’d never expect Iwaizumi to break-up with Oikawa.” Shigero claims in a bored tone.

“We’re not dating or anything, so don’t use the word ‘break-up’.” Oikawa insists. He doesn’t take it too seriously or personally, but it bothers him.

He wonders why he’s so insistent on not having his relationship with Iwaizumi be taken as ‘boyfriend’.

He wonders why.

Maybe because he’s not gay.

Probably.

 

* * *

 

[You: what happened?]

[You: TALK TO ME, iwaizumi.]

[You: did every moment mean anything if you won’t even talk to me?]

[You: …]

[You: you know i’m worried, right?]

[You: message me sometime.]  
Read Wednesday, 7:26 PM.

 

* * *

 

Oikawa wants to laze in bed all day, but has to own up to a certain responsibility that leaves his bedsheets ruffled, cold, and Tooru-less.

It isn’t that he minds watching his nephew’s games, nor does he hate walking his nephew home. He enjoys it, and Iwaizumi would even argue that his _nephew_ is easier to walk home than him—

Oikawa notices how invasive thoughts of Iwaizumi easily crowd his mind, especially as of late, with the former Ace’s absence.

To get his mind off of things, maybe going to his nephew’s little mini-matches serve as a good distraction. He stops for coffee at the store nearby, and sees couples sitting at tables, creating spirals in their drinks while laughing. He sees high school and college students making use of the free wifi and trying to do their homework with an untouched bagel beside them. He sees groups of friends at tables.

He thinks of Iwaizumi and himself stopping here on their way home, sitting at one of the tables while Oikawa would drone on and on about that annoying chick that sits in front of him during English and Iwaizumi would talk about that one guy in his Math class that apparently knew _everything_ about math.

And Oikawa would order a blueberry muffin, whereas Iwaizumi would order a bagel.

A very small amount of time would be spent on actually eating, and most of their time would be dedicated to telling stories, Oikawa’s teasing, and Iwaizumi’s violence in response to Oikawa’s jeers.

The nostalgia and familiar taste of the coffee there fills him with a warm feeling. It brings a smile to his face, before he notices his thoughts resemble someone who had broken up with their girlfriend/boyfriend.

Thinking of Iwaizumi as his boyfriend makes him feel strange, so he stops thinking of that.

He leaves to go to Takeru’s game.

While much detail can go into describing this game, (almost eight chapters’ worth), it is an amateur game in Oikawa’s eyes, as expected from grade schoolers.

After the game, Takeru says goodbye to his teammates and jogs over to Oikawa, still bursting with energy, as most kids do.

“Heeey there. Good job on your game,” Oikawa says, giving a smile.

“Are you going to treat me to ice cream?” Takeru responds, and Oikawa remembers he is truly his nephew—focusing on the selfish advantages that can be gained.

“ _No_ ,” Oikawa laughs, “you have some at home already, don’t you?”

Even though it’s true, the kid just frowns. Oikawa understands—there’s a greater sense of victory if you buy ice cream.

Oikawa pats his nephew’s head, and begins to walk him home.

While walking at a leisurely pace, he half-listens to Takeru talk, describing some game and this one kid on their team that doesn’t really matter.

They wait for the stoplight to switch from red to green, and Oikawa looks up and around, away from his phone. He glances at the coffee shop again, thinking about how nice the coffee there is, when something catches his eye.

A figure he’d be a fool not to notice—someone he’s laid his eyes upon millions of times before.

He thinks he sees Iwaizumi with a man. The man has blunt gray hair and a refreshing smile. Iwaizumi’s expression looks like a mix between anger, annoyance and worry.

Oikawa recognizes the man beside Iwaizumi to be Sugawara Koushi, from Karasuno’s team, and he’s about to bolt faster than his competitive days against Kageyama until Takeru grabs onto Oikawa’s sleeve.

Oikawa remembers his responsibility to walk his nephew home, and the stoplight turns green.

He wants to make an excuse to his nephew, like ‘oh, I forgot something! Be right back!’, but he calls his nephew obscenities and a damned brat in his mind while he smiles and agrees.

Oikawa actually does adore Takeru, and will get over it later, but for now, all he wants to do is see Iwaizumi.

“What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Takeru asks, and Oikawa fakes it yet again, lying through his teeth, reassuring that he’s fine. He doesn’t mention Iwaizumi.

Oikawa wonders if what he saw was really Iwaizumi.

Oikawa wonders why Iwaizumi found that guy easier to hang out around than him.

 

* * *

 

[You: thought i saw you near the coffee shop.]

[You: probably just my imagination.]

Oikawa hesitates before writing the next line.

[You: i hope you’re okay.]  
Read Thursday, 3:01 PM.

 

* * *

 

Oikawa spends most of Friday on the computer, scrolling through his Facebook feed when his eye catches on some pro-LGBT post that Facebook ironically recommends for him. As of late, ‘LGBT pride’ has been getting increasingly popular in the west, and although Oikawa couldn’t care less about BL, yuri, or crossdressers,

It’s not what Oikawa expects.

The obvious sexual orientations are shown (straight, bi, gay, lesbian…) along with descriptions of what they mean. However, then they get into terms Oikawa’s hardly heard of. Asexuals, who don’t want sex with anyone, and pansexuals, who will have sex with anyone they want, regardless of their gender.

What catches his eye isn’t that.

What has him read on is a section called ‘demisexuals’.

_Demisexual: a type of grey-romantic who only experiences romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection beforehand._

While that wouldn’t normally interest him, and he’d normally close the tab and say, ‘well, I guess I learned something new’, he immediately thinks of Iwaizumi.

He feels his face heat up. _No, I don’t like Iwa-chan. Not_ like _like, at least. I just thought about him because he’s someone I have an emotional connection with._

Even thinking of his relationship with Iwaizumi as an ‘emotional connection’ feels weird. He covers his mouth with the back of his hand, which is an action Oikawa only does when he’s flustered.

He thinks of all the times he had flirted with Iwaizumi just to piss him off and wonders if saying ‘it’s just to piss him off’ or ‘it’s because I like him’ would be considered more of a lie.

His thoughts race faster than he can process and he messages Tetsurou Kuroo, one of his newer teammates.

Ironically enough, the song ‘Won’t Say I’m in Love’ from Hercules gets stuck in his head, and he curses it over and over.

 

* * *

 

[You: how do u know if you like someone.]  
Read Friday, 10:16 PM

[Kuroo: ohohohohohohohon~]

[Kuroo: hoooooooo boy]

[Kuroo: m8 we have some talking 2 do]  
Sent Friday, 10:58 PM

 

* * *

 

Oikawa didn’t really have anything against not being straight.

He remembers when Kenma, Nekoma’s setter, came to ‘watch their college practice’ since Kuroo was ‘trying to encourage him to join college sports’.

And while Oikawa isn’t stupid, he’s rather dense when it comes to same-sex relationships and is genuinely surprised to see Kuroo’s true intentions come out when he finds the two males lip-locked behind the gym after practice.

He remembers his face going red and spinning on his heel, not even apologizing or teasing. He was just _gone._

Although he and Kuroo hadn’t spoken much to each other during high school, Kuroo had somehow managed to get Oikawa’s phone number and they ended up becoming pretty decent friends.

In all honesty, even if it’s something he’ll never admit, he can’t think of a better person to go to in his situation.

They message each other and arrange to meet up at a certain pizza joint Kuroo loves and they sit and talk.

“Alright,” Kuroo says, leaning back and peeling the cheese off his pepperoni pizza, “so the scenario is that you’re not sure if you’re demiromantic for Iwaizumi, he’s ignoring you, and you’re not sure how much you miss him.”

Oikawa felt odd talking about it, but since it was from someone who was in love with a male, it wasn’t like he could be judged for it. “More or less.”

“Do you know _why_ he’s ignoring you? In all honesty—you haven’t said anything at _all_ that could piss him off.”

Oikawa shakes his head, but he can probably think of a few things that might’ve set Iwaizumi off. He glances at his phone and scrolls up, re-reading the messages. It wasn’t anything _new_. Not really.

“So how do you know if you like someone?” Oikawa asks, briskly getting to the point as fast as possible. Kuroo looks up from his pizza and shrugs.

“To be honest, I’ve known Kenma for… a pretty long time, like you and Iwaizumi.” Kuroo says. He twists the cap of his pop bottle and it fizzes and leaks the carbonated drink. “One day, it kind of just connected.”

Oikawa thinks about how things are connecting right now, but it also could be the unique situation making him think weird things. He could just be delusional. Absent from his everyday routine.

“Listen. He’s been ignoring you for a week or so? Do you miss him?” Kuroo asks.

Oikawa frowns, feeling slightly shy, and finds the tile floor much more interesting to look at than Kuroo’s grin. “Obviously.”

Kuroo laughs. “Normally, I’d say that’s normal for _anyone_ to feel, but the thing is…” he leans forward, his nose resting on interlocked fingers, having mischevious eyes peek just above his hands. “Would you miss anyone else?”

This startles Oikawa, as his syllogism reveals his answer.

 _Oh shit,_ he thinks, face paling while simultaneously reddening, _I’m kinda totally in love with that idiot, aren’t I._

“Well, I’ll leave you to think about it.” Kuroo says, leaning back in his seat. “So are you going to have the last slice of pizza, or are you going to leave it for me?”

“Wait, then why is he ignoring me?!” Oikawa interjects. “What did _I_ do that was so different than before?”

Kuroo looks surprised at Oikawa’s outburst for a second, but then a puff of laughter escapes his lips. He bursts out in laughter, and buries his head in his sleeve over something that he apparently finds _hilarious_ that Oikawa can’t see.

“You know, I’m starting to realize why some people consider you suspicious,” Oikawa says, his challenging stare as threatening as always.

“Coming from the one with an infamous terrible personality, I find that even more humorous.” Kuroo comes up, still chuckling slightly.

“ _I’m_ the one with the terrible personality.” Oikawa sighs, rolling his eyes.

Kuroo’s black eyes shine for a moment with a Machiavellian glint. “Would you really want to challenge someone you just told a secret to?”

Oikawa isn’t that threatened, and simply drops his innocent persona even further as he glares. “You wouldn’t try it.”

Kuroo laughs again. “You’re right. I wouldn’t. Don’t be so serious.”

But Oikawa isn’t that forgiving, and crosses his arms while he leans back in his seat. He blows out a quick puff of air, and his eyebrows unknit.

“Well, when Kenma’s mad at me, he can be kinda cryptic too.” Kuroo says. “Well. He’s usually just annoyed with me, in the end. That’s a regular with you guys, though, so I can’t say much.”

Oikawa frowns. “I always know what I do to annoy him. I _do it_ to annoy him.”

“Maybe you should just ask him, then. Meet up with him somehow.”

“Tried it. Ignores calls, ignores texts, and he’s apparently never home anymore.” Oikawa snaps, a little out of aggravation and a little out of fatigue.

“Mmhm. But is he ignoring _me?”_ Kuroo asks, leaning forward with a sly grin and Oikawa can almost see the letters B-A-D-N-E-W-S spelled across his incisor teeth.

 

* * *

 

[You: sorry if i did something.]  
Read Saturday, 7:48 PM.

 

* * *

 

Oikawa falls asleep late at night, dreams patterned and whirling with thoughts of Iwaizumi Hajime.

He knows that he and Iwaizumi had just met out of convenience—they both lived near each other, so it was only natural they’d be friends.

 But it’s that single, one-in-a-million chance, the unthinking decision his parents make to live there and go to the same school as Iwaizumi that decides they have to be ‘friends’.

He remembers all the time that others had given him strange looks. When they realized just how selfish, annoying, and bratty Oikawa really was. How it didn’t fit their misperceptions and misjudgements.

He can’t remember Iwaizumi ever giving him the same look. He just remembers Iwaizumi punching him for being a total dick. A lot. But no matter what, Iwaizumi would always stick with him after.

He remembers being disappointed about a lot of things. The many times he hinted at his insecurities behind false guises of playfulness and would say something like, ‘that was terrible, wasn’t it? Honestly, what could _you_ possibly think is so good about _me?’_  while batting his eyelashes as though it’s a joke.

Iwaizumi takes it seriously because he knows it’s something serious.

He remembers how brutally honest Iwaizumi is. Honesty that becomes more and more refreshing as they get older, since the number of lies increase. Even Oikawa is like that—someone who can’t whole-heartedly speak the truth.

Except to Iwaizumi.

He remembers all the times he forgets his pencil or an eraser or a pen and Iwaizumi already _knows_ Oikawa will mess up sooner or later, and Iwaizumi always has one ready for him.

He remembers choosing partners and groups in high school and just having to _look_ at Iwaizumi so that he’d telepathically get the message of, ‘yeah, we’re working together on this one.’ If they didn’t want to, that’d be okay too. They’d just work with someone else.

He remembers all the times he’d tease Iwaizumi and doesn’t remember if he did it to mess with him or to flirt with him under a mask of messing with him. Or, maybe it’s just that he hasn’t thought about it that hard until now.

He remembers his heart beating a bit too loudly when Iwaizumi would wrap hardworking arms around his neck after a bad game that Oikawa would blame himself for and reassure him that they did good.

He remembers Iwaizumi worrying over him when he’d stay up at ungodly hours to study and examine a volleyball game, and he remembers Iwaizumi ready to punch him out just to get him to go to sleep.

He remembers how Iwaizumi always knows what to say.

He remembers being comfortable around Iwaizumi, and Iwaizumi always calming him down.

And he realizes that maybe, just _maybe,_ he might be 101% in love with Iwaizumi. The chances of him being wrong are about 1%.

 

* * *

 

[You: we need to talk.]  
Read Sunday, 10:07 AM.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo messages Iwaizumi to meet at a park near Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s house at 5:30 PM. Iwaizumi thinks it’s Kuroo who’s going.

Needless to say, it isn’t.

Oikawa sits on one of the swings. Oikawa thinks about how much he’s grown since they had first visited this park, where they would have to jump and pull themselves onto the swing. Now, Oikawa’s feet touched the ground easily.

He doesn’t really expect Iwaizumi to come—well, he does, but the minute Iwaizumi sees Oikawa, Oikawa expects Iwaizumi will leave.

Plus, the weather looks terrible, too. While the clouds looked a little lighter earlier, Oikawa could see nimbus clouds rapidly being pushed towards him. It was windy, too. Typical weather for this time of year.

It gets darker, and the kids at the park are guided home by their parents. The streetlights even turn on, and that’s when Oikawa gets a glimpse of spiky black-brown hair and a red scarf that Oikawa helped pick out.

Iwaizumi sees Oikawa on the swing, and Oikawa senses a look he’s never seen from Iwaizumi before. It’s almost like panic.

But of course, being the innocent and honest idiot he is, he stays. He just looks away and goes to sit on the park bench.

Oikawa hesitates for a second, but gets off the squeaking swing and makes his way over to Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi sees Oikawa’s beeline towards him, and places both hands beside him on the bench as he gets up.

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa shouts. He doesn’t mean to use his childish moniker for Iwaizumi right then, but it catches Iwaizumi’s attention regardless.

Oikawa doesn’t want Iwaizumi to leave, but isn’t sure how to verbalize the thought. Iwaizumi’s practically always been able to read Oikawa’s mind anyway, so this is a new experience.

Iwaizumi’s mouth is pressed into a thin line. “Yeah?”

That’s what sets Oikawa off. “Yeah?”

Iwaizumi bites his lip because he knows he’s already messed up.

“Two weeks? Really?” Oikawa says. His exasperation, rage, worry and confusion begin to show in his tone of voice and expression. “No, ‘hey, Oikawa’. ‘Sorry for making you worry, Oikawa’. ‘Long time no see, haha, something came up’?”

The rain begins to fall, picking up at an increasingly quick pace. If Oikawa saw this in a movie, he would think that this is when everything falls apart, but Oikawa’s not sure how much worse this situation can get before going into the unrealistic.

The former ace presses his lips into a thin line and looks away. “I was thinking.”

“Thinking. Oh, okay. You were thinking.” Oikawa knows Iwaizumi deserves a much more forgiving friend, but he can’t help but be annoyed. He doesn’t want a stereotypical, ‘I needed time away. I was thinking’ from _anyone_. “Really. You had to think for two weeks and ignore me. What were you even thinking about?”

“That’s none of your business, Tr… Oikawa.” Oikawa can sense Iwaizumi’s instinctive reflex to call him ‘Trashkawa’, and that is all Oikawa wants Iwaizumi to say in his usual tone. One that rings in his mind vividly, like it always has.

“Really. _How_ many years? What’s none of my business?” Oikawa steadily gets more and more aggressive.

Iwaizumi sighs, almost in defeat, but doesn’t answer Oikawa’s question. “Are you seriously here with that light jacket?”

Oikawa is taken aback by Iwaizumi’s sudden change from defensive into his usual ‘mom’ personality. He is rendered speechless, but swept up in Iwaizumi’s pace.

“It’s going to rain harder. Let’s just… find someplace to stay.” Iwaizumi says.

Oikawa thinks about what it would be like in a different situation, dancing in the rain with Iwaizumi—even though it will eternally remain a fantasy, because Iwaizumi would _never_ dance in the rain with Oikawa and…

Oikawa wonders why these thoughts are running through his mind because he should be mad at Iwaizumi. He should detest the treatment he’s received over the past week or so.

But it’s so easy for them to go back to normal, he realizes.

They find half-hearted shelter under a tree, where smaller droplets still manage to sneak through the leaves and wet their hair even more. Even Iwaizumi’s hair, which is naturally spiky, ends up being somewhat flattened.

Now that Oikawa’s calmed down, he looks at Iwaizumi. He’s still slightly pouting, but he is much less feral than before. “So. Explanation?”

Iwaizumi looks at him and sighs.

“I saw you, you know.” Oikawa says, frowning. His arms are crossed, and he sends a sideways glance at Iwaizumi.

“Saw me what?” Iwaizumi responds, vexed.

“With Mr. Refreshing from Karasuno.” He refers to Sugawara Koushi, the ikemen.

Iwaizumi’s face looks startled at the mention, but he only manages to let out a concise, “Oh.”

Oikawa has a lot of things to say, but holds them back. Iwaizumi elaborates. “I was asking him. For advice.”

“Advice for what?” Oikawa asks.

“…Something like love.” Iwaizumi replies.

Oikawa’s eyes widen. His heart falls, because that means that Iwaizumi finally has a girl he likes. Maybe that’s why Iwaizumi’s been avoiding Oikawa—he’s been spending time with the nice girl he has a crush on. It means that Oikawa is no longer a priority.

It means that Iwaizumi will spend less and less time with Oikawa.

It means—no, it’s a _reminder—_ that Oikawa can and will never, ever be with Iwaizumi.

He bluffs it again. “No _way!_ Iwa-chan, you have a girl you like?”

Iwaizumi is startled by Oikawa’s sudden turn from anger to his lie. His bluff. His counterfeit smile. “Not exactly. Quit looking so smug.”

Oikawa wonders why Iwaizumi had gone to Sugawara before Oikawa. Oikawa supposes that Sugawara _does_  go to Iwaizumi’s college, but Iwaizumi could have just knocked on Oikawa’s door…

“Smug? About what?” Iwaizumi is prepared to slap Oikawa’s teasing smile off his face, as per norm. “So? What’s her name? Or, no, don’t tell me—you’re gay?!”

Iwaizumi jumps at the mention and looks away, face red with embarrassment.

“Wait. Seriously?” Oikawa asks. Iwaizumi doesn’t reply.

_It’s Sugawara Koushi._

_I thought Suga was with Sawamura?_

_But it can’t be anyone else._

Oikawa isn’t quite sure what to say, because now he _knows_ who he lost to. He decides to just be the friend Iwaizumi wants, and says, “Hey, that’s… cool.”

He wants to say, ‘I’m kinda gay for you. Or demi. Or whatever the hell it is. I like you’, but decides against it for obvious reasons.

But instead he ends up saying the worst line to someone coming out of the closet. ‘That’s cool’. What did that even mean? It sounded dismissive.

“So, who is it?” Oikawa asks. He can’t come up with a smile, but for reasons other than Iwaizumi thinks. Oikawa isn’t weirded out. He’s jealous.

Iwaizumi exhales loudly; the kind of sigh he makes when he’s released his pent-out rage on Oikawa. He tucks his lips in and closes his eyes.

Oikawa knows that look. It’s when Iwaizumi has a hard time saying something. Oikawa closes his eyes too, preparing for the name. The truth he already knows. He even lets out a defeated smile, and heavy puffs of air come out of his nose as half-laughs.

“I like you.” Iwaizumi gives a half-truth. Oikawa’s heart stops, and his face of acceptance immediately disappears into surprise.

“Since when.” Oikawa says, more of a demanding statement than a question.

“... A while back.” Iwaizumi says.

Oikawa’s calmed down, and asks in a normal tone, “Does that have to do with why you avoided me?”

Iwaizumi steps down on Oikawa’s foot, hard. “You’re not _that_ dumb.”

And it’s true, Oikawa knows the answer. That _is_ the reason why he avoided him.

Oikawa yelps in pain, but then laughs. Because he suppose he can forgive Iwaizumi this time. He supposes that everything’s fine. Alright. That isn’t even a concern anymore.

His current concern is how he can clear up the situation, but his mind pulls a blank.

“Iwa-chan, you don’t have to worry about anything like that! Honestly, what did Mr. Refreshing tell you?”

Iwaizumi is flustered, but replies anyway. “He said to spend some time away and see how I felt about it.”

Oikawa thinks that Iwaizumi must be somewhat of a masochist, as it supplies him with the perfect opportunity to tease him, raising an eyebrow. “And? What did you feel? Taking a break from me, that is.”

He tries to make his tone of voice sound like a joke, but it’s another one of those things where he wants Iwaizumi to reassure him that although Oikawa annoys the shit out of him, he doesn't want to be with anyone else.

“… Bad.” Iwaizumi says, and wonders why Oikawa still hasn’t responded properly to Iwaizumi’s technically-a-confession.

 “Same here.” Oikawa says, and even Iwaizumi knows what that implies.

Iwaizumi looks at Oikawa only to see Oikawa looking back at him, grinning like the idiot he is. Oikawa laughs and leans close, cupping Iwaizumi’s jawline with a free hand.

“I meant ‘same here’ for everything you said, for your information.”

 

* * *

 

[You sent a picture.]

The picture shows Oikawa and Iwaizumi kissing. The picture is taken directly beside the two of them, in a position that would have caused Iwaizumi to punch Oikawa if his eyes had been open. Oikawa has a single eye open and smirks into the kiss, and a peace sign can be seen behind them.

[You: so it turns out i might not be 100% straight too, didja know, iwa-chan]  
Read Sunday, 5:30 PM.

[Iwa-chan: Trashkawa]  
Sent Sunday, 5:31 PM.

 

 

 

 

 

fin.


End file.
